The inner musings of the black cat
by Selective Mutism
Summary: It's been a few weeks since the new school term has started, and a certain black cat isn't very happy with her seniors all moving to University. Oneshot.


**Summary:** It's been a few weeks since the new school term has started, and a certain black cat isn't very happy with her seniors all moving to University.

**Notes:** It's been a while. I just came back with this short oneshot because I was really seriously bored. (If I can forgo 'A' levels I would love to, but sadly that ain't a viable option) Studying can really be a pain sometimes. I know people will say something along the lines of 'work is harder', so I will end my rant here.

So anyway, this is my first time writing in second-person (I feel like I'm writing a RPG script lol…), so I hope this is quite okay. Please note that the last part isn't in Azusa's perspective, even though the title did say 'black cat'. _You can go figure out who is it yourself later._

Oh, I also removed the 'humour' label because it's not really one of the main themes, even though my writing-style does encompass a certain amount of mild humour. (I haven't written in 6 months, so needless to say my writing style will be a little different than before.)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own K-On!

* * *

><p>You woke up to the sound of your phone alarm.<p>

Through your unkempt black bangs, you mentally noted to yourself that you were in your living room. Sluggishly, you slowly sat up to, flinching at the sudden numbness in your neck. You remembered watching some weird TV programmes that you couldn't bother to remember anyway while waiting for your parents to come home, and at some point rested your head on the arm rest as your head felt heavy with mental fatigue.

Seriously, you have to fix that habit of yours. Sleeping on the couch always gives a sore neck.

Raising your right hand to massage the base of your neck, you flipped open the cover of your phone, which you conveniently happen to fall asleep while holding it in your other, to check the time.

_5am. Great. I must have mistaken a 5 for a 6 again._

You sighed to yourself as you rested your back against the leather couch, tilting your head up to staring at the dull ceiling fan. Not that the rotation device was very interesting to start with, but you aren't one that could fall back to sleep easily after waking, and you couldn't think of anything else to do anyway as your gaze followed one particular blade as it slowly went about its endless loop.

Your mind suddenly wondered if your senpais were already awake, but you shook your head as you remembered they were now in University.

_They've all graduated, huh?_

It's been two weeks since Yui-senpai last called you, and most of the messages that you received from then on were either from your friends, or those annoying advertisements selling products that you probably won't even need to use for the next 10 years or so.

You raised your phone above your head, so that it seems like it is right beside the ventilator, as you watched the time on the digital clock expectantly while you mentally counted the passing seconds. The instant the number of minutes increased by one, your interest for the fan suddenly just disappeared, so you got up from the couch, earning a small creak as your weight left the furniture, as you approached one particular switch and turned the power off. The propellers lazily came to a standpoint, as you started yours.

_I should just go to school._

* * *

><p>Your mind was pretty much a blur as you went about with the usual, though you made sure to be extra quiet as your parents were still asleep. Whispering a soft "I'm off" to the sleeping Nakano household, you stepped into your neighbourhood streets, still lit by the street lamps as the sun had yet to rise. Journey to school was a little… how do you put it… unusual though, with the absence of familiar faces of fellow schoolmates and the presence of foreign ones. You slightly regretted not staying at home a little longer.<p>

_Should I call Ui to see if she's awake? Or maybe Jun?_

You tightened your gripped on your phone as you continued to stare at its front cover.

_I'll probably disturb their sleep if I did-_

"Hey, wait up!"

You whipped your head back by instinct, but the girl that had called _'you'_ ran past to tap another a few feet ahead of you. You sighed as felt your chest tightened a little, the bags on your shoulders a little, but not too significantly, heavier. Turning back in front, you heard the girls chat about g_irl_ things like makeup and eye candy as you continued walking, which you wondered briefly about the absurdity of such talk. It is usually these kinds of talk that make you think that you can't 'click' with your fellow schoolmates. Then again, your closest friends, those who had managed to transgress your stoic façade, never talked about any of these things.

In fact, all the light music club talk about is cake and snacks.

_The __**previous**__ light music club, that is._

You pushed that thought to the back of your mind as you unconsciously quickened your pace, walking past the two girls.

"What's with her?" You heard one of them say in the distance.

"She's just jealous of our friendship." The other giggled at her own joke.

You walked even faster at how true that statement was.

* * *

><p>Whilst passing along familiar roads, you suddenly remembered that you hadn't had breakfast, made known by the low rumbling in your abdomen. You whipped open your phone again to check if there was time, but remembered that you had more than enough time without looking, so you entered the nearest convenience store as you slipped your phone into your skirt pocket.<p>

Briefly scanning through the aisles of snacks, your eyes suddenly locked on a peculiar pink packet that stood out among the rest of its normal coloured brothers and sisters. Curiosity piqued, your right hand reached out to pick it up from the shelf as your eyes scanned the packaging, your features knitting into its usual frown as your cynical mode was activated.

'NEW! Natural Strawberry flavour! 100% organic apple chips'

Your innate scepticism wondered at the authenticity of the product, and you stifled a laugh as you had the mental image of Yui-senpai rolling about whining about how the producers were mean people to lie about the flavour, with Ritsu-senpai shedding crocodile tears by the window-

_What?_

Realising what you were just thinking, you randomly grabbed an onigiri from the shelf next to you and rushed straight to the counter, almost slamming it onto the table with the rush in adrenaline.

"I'll take this please!" You tried to control your volume but that obvious squeak in your voice still grabbed the attention of other patrons. The cashier blinked at you a few times, which suddenly made you self-conscious and hope that the blush on your face wasn't too obvious, before he pointed to your right hand.

"A-are you getting that too?"

You raised your right hand to find that you were still clutching onto the packet of snacks, and you instantly felt your face burn in embarrassment. You quickly assessed if you could spare the extra seconds to return the product back to its original place, all the while bearing the questioning stares of the other customers.

You ended up buying those chips anyway.

* * *

><p>Reaching school, you mentally noted that the school wasn't completely empty with some of the clubs having morning practices. As you slowly walked along the brightly-lit corridors, which needed your eyes to get a little used to from the lack of lighting before, you checked the time on your phone again. You concluded from the present time that you had more than an hour before first period, so you decided to head to the clubroom to put Muttan, your red Mustang, down before having your breakfast. You climbed up the flight of stairs, briefly patting the stone turtle on the stair railing before turning the knob to the place you regard as haven.<p>

The lights of the room were still off, but you managed to make out a familiar blond in the middle.

_Mugi-senpai?_

_Wait, that's not her._

You crept up quietly to the girl, holding Muttan properly in case he made any sound, as you placed your face as close to her ear without claiming her attention.

"Su-mi-re!" You made sure to pronounce every syllable as you called your kouhai, who jumped at the sudden break in silence screaming her standard line of "I've been discovered!". Her sudden uproar made you wonder if it wasn't such a nice thing to scare the girl like that.

You still felt the muscles at the corner of your mouth contract upon seeing the undeniably cute expression on the blond-haired girl's face.

_I wonder if she has a strong liking for tea sets._

"Oh! Good morning, Nakano-senpai." The junior girl stood up to greet you after recovering from her shock.

Despite the initial bliss of being called 'senpai', you still scowled at the taller girl, partly because she made you more conscious about your height when she stood up, and reprimanded her about how you should be called by your first name rather than your last name. She had her head lowered the entire time, submissively taking in your words of half-hearted anger while muttering something that sounded like "Yes m'am".

_What kind of strict family does she live in anyway?_

Sighing, you ruffled your kouhai's golden locks, though you could only reach it in the first place because her head was lowered, before heading to the side of the room to turn on the lights, earning another squeak from the younger girl. You then carefully placed Muttan on the floor, leaning the top against the beige-coloured wall, before making your way to your usual seat, setting your phone down on the table beside you before opening your school bag to pull out your breakfast.

"You haven't had breakfast yet, Senpai?"

"Yeah. I bought mine on the way to school."

"Would you like tea along with it?" Sumire twiddled her thumbs as she feebly asked.

_It's already a habit, huh?_

"If it's not any trouble, sure, I would love to."

"No trouble at all! It'll be ready in a moment!"

The blond-haired girl's hand went instantly to work as you unwrapped your onigiri to eat. You stared at a random spot of the room as you ate your breakfast, absentmindedly chewing on your food as you disgruntled at your foolishness of buying the cheese-flavoured one, which you never seemed to like when it's cold. You were almost done when a teacup entered your peripheral vision and was placed in front of you. You thanked the junior as you popped the remaining piece of rice into your mouth and lifted up the porcelain cup carefully with the tips of your thin fingers. You breathed in the aroma of the brew in front of you, sending a pleasant tingle throughout the body as relaxation settled in.

_No wonder the senpais liked teatimes so much._

You sighed again.

_How many times have I sighed today?_

You sensed someone watching you, and you looked up to see a pair of azure eyes looking at you from across the table. You used one hand to physically search for anything rice stuck on your face, but did not find any. You aren't one to start a conversation, even within your close group of friends, so speaking to a girl whom you've known for less than a month is pretty much out of the question for you. Nonetheless, she continued to look at you, which continues to bug you as the seconds turned to minutes. Unable to figure out the reason behind the stare, you voiced out your concerns when it became too uncomfortable to bear.

"What is it, Sumire-chan?"

Despite acknowledging her presence, Sumire's gaze didn't falter.

"You seem… depressed, Senpai."

You feel a sudden dread when the word was spoken, drowning out the evidence of concern behind the question.

"No. Not at all."

You sipped a bit of the tea that was in front of you, which seemed unusually bitter. The back of your throat felt dry even after ingesting the liquid.

"Is that really true, Senpai?" Your kouhai continued to inquire, the space between her brows slightly shortened as she did.

You set your cup back onto the saucer as you unconsciously picked up your phone, opening its cover to check the time again, even though your eyes never had the same intention to do so.

"You kept looking at your phone while you eat, Nakano-senpai."

_It wasn't some random spot of the room?_

"I was just worried about the time, that's all."

"You also happen to be holding onto it the whole time when you came in."

_It wasn't in my pocket?_

"Like I said," Your hands shot up instinctively, waving them in front of you as though you could defend yourself with such feeble limbs, "I was worried about the time."

The younger girl's eyes refused to leave you, as you returned your hands back in, fiddling with your fringe as you stared into the tea in the cup, wishing it should just engulf your entire being, so that this chilling sensation would just leave.

"Senpai."

"Yes?"

"You always have that same look when the other senpais aren't talking to you."

_What?_

You looked up once more to look at the girl before you, and at that moment you no longer saw the younger girl called Sumire.

"Your eyes can't lie."

You instinctively shut your eyes, as though recoiling from the sudden impact of realisation on your unconscious behaviour. You tried to fight back the heat that started to spread across your face.

_What am I thinking?_

The heaviness in your chest increased, and you leaned forward as though it physically affected you. You clutched the edges of your skirt, tightening your hands into fists.

_I still have Ui and Jun._

You still denied the feeling in your chest nonetheless, as you frantically searched your mental library for any other reason.

_I can't possibly be…_

Any reason that can overthrow the one you are so desperately trying to forget.

_I'm not…_

The last remaining shard of your composure was lost when your phone suddenly rang, the last song your seniors, your first friends in high school, and your precious friends played for you echoing through the room.

The treasure box of memories buried deep down was unlocked, its contents now overflowing. The times you scolded them for slacking off, the times you complained about teatime but still joined in anyway, the times you put up with Yui-senpai's antics only to melt in her fuzzy hugs, the times you wished that they would be more serious during band practice… The times you wished you were in the same grade, the times you loved how serious the band can be at times despite the short duration, the times you wished on stage will always have another five minutes, the times you saw your seniors cry their hearts out when their last performance ended.

The times that you wished would last forever.

_Am I the only one that will be left behind?_

You hear a chair being pushed back, before suddenly feeling a soft fabric gently grazing your features, making you aware about the wet trails from your still shut eyes. Even without opening them, you could '_see'_ Sumire standing up to reach across the table, wiping away your tears, just like how you did for Mugi-senpai after their last performance in the corner of this very same room.

"Su-sumire-chan." You managed to say in between sobs, though you were unsure whether your kouhai was able to hear your incoherent mumblings.

"Yes?" You heard the acknowledgement of the person you called out to, her calmness evident in her tone of voice. You could almost imagine the gentle smile across her fair features.

"I-I'm so-sorry to tr-trouble y-you."

You let out all of your pent-up emotions out right there and then, ignoring the fact that the music room isn't exactly soundproof and there are others still in school.

"Azusa-senpai, it's okay."

You let the blond-haired girl continue to wipe your face, not caring how un-senior you looked like now.

"Just let it all out."

* * *

><p>"Senpai, are you better now?"<p>

Sumire must have switched off the lights, since the sun was already up by the time you opened your eyes, bathing the room in a natural hue of orange and giving it a warm glow. Nostalgia filled your tired body as you leaned back against your chair.

"Ie'mn ffuane (I'm fine)." Your tears had stopped, but you still had to stop that runny nose of yours. You choked back on the accumulation of mucus as you spoke while you pinched your nose with a handkerchief.

Your junior tried her best not to laugh, but you still regret not removing that obstacle from your nose, even if it is reddened like a tomato. You felt your eyes narrow to stare viciously across the table.

"I'm sorry, Nakano-senpai. It just sounds funny, so I couldn't help- pfft!"

You realised that the handkerchief had left your nose, now exposing the swollen red snout and its still-wet tip.

_Submissive, my foot!_

"SA-I-TOU!" You tackled your junior from behind in the most appropriate way possible: President-style Chokehold.

"And for a moment there, I'd have let you get away with it because you called me by my first name earlier."

"Se-senpai, I ca-can't breathe."

You quickly released your arms from the blond girl's neck when you realised your hold was too tight. You slumped down on the floor beside her as you heard her regain lost air in haggard breaths. Instinctively, you palmed your face in dismay.

_I'll turn into Ritsu-senpai at this rate._

You heard a giggle above you, so you released your face from your hand to face the girl, only to see Sumire smiling at you despite her earlier ordeal.

_She __**liked**__ that?_

"You're finally smiling again, Nakano-senpai."

You blinked a few times, before a blush creep across your face when you realised that she was right. You quickly stood up and plopped back down in your seat, not making any eye contact with the younger girl.

_Just when I established a 'cool' senior persona, I just __**had**__ to…_

"That song earlier…"

"Huh?" You broke out of our train of lamenting thoughts to look at your kouhai. "What about it?"

"I've heard it before."

You instantly shot up from your seat, slamming your hands against the wooden table as you towered over the startled blond-haired girl, trapping her between your two pig-tails.

_She heard it before?_

"Where?"

Shaking was evident from head to toe, as your junior was appalled at your sudden outburst. In any normal situation, you would have usually backed down and apologise to the other person, before running away quickly to mentally reprimand yourself to keep your anger in check. But your body refused to moved away, but instead proceeded to lean in even closer than usual, the alarms of infringing personal space going wild in your mind.

"Ojou-sama frequently played it at home!"

You stared at her in disbelief.

"It's true! Ojou-sama and her group of friends always play this song, before and after she graduated from this school."

_Before and after._

Your mind kept circling on one particular word.

_After._

Remembering the purpose behind the song, you quickly wiped out your phone to read your newly received email. Your screen was instantly filled with massive amount of apologetic icons you probably never knew existed the moment you opened it. Any normal person would have thought your phone had been fried.

_That would probably make those advertisements a lot more interesting to look at._

You read through the message, one that was filled with lots of wrong kanji and replacement hiragana characters that would have made a stranger mistaken the sender for an elementary school kid, as it spoke of the many miscellaneous episodes of University life, the dorm mates, the lectures, the light music club over there, painting a image of colours through the simple digital strokes of words. Blood continued to flood your face, but you ignored it as you felt that void you had been feeling for so long slowly being relinquished.

And right at the end of the message, you felt yourself break into tears once more.

'Azu-nyan _daidaisuki_!'

_We really, really love you, Azu-nyan!_

You hunched over the table, clutching the device close to your heart, as the second round of waterworks began.

_I love you guys too._

* * *

><p>"So, have you managed to put away the tea sets?"<p>

University classes had ended for the day, so you were now sitting at the desk in your dorm room, holding you phone in one hand while twiddling with the ends of your golden hair that was tied in a ponytail and slung over your right shoulder. You feel that it is of utmost importance that you handled your _house matters_ before your roommate got back, lest you had to go through the hassle of explaining to them about it.

"_I sincerely apologise, Tsumugi Ojou-sama. I have been unable to fulfil my task."_

Upholding your father's words to be a strict leader, you mustered up the fiercest voice she had.

"I am disappointed in you."

"_I am so sorry, Tsumugi Ojou-sama! I will ensure that my conduct is reviewed and will do my job properly next time."_

You could visualise the poor girl cowering in fear, with a hoard of fellow servants praying for her safety to 'return back safely'. Sometimes you really just want to throw away that rigid façade in front of them, but there are rules of conduct to follow, not to mention the ever-present social barrier.

"I'll leave it to you then." You spoke in the infamous Kotobuki deadpan tone that you would make even the toughest of man cry.

"_E-excuse me then!"_

You placed your phone back on the table as you leaned back, making the chair that you were sitting on support your weight with its two hind legs along with your own. You imagine the head butler scolding you at your 'unlady-like mannerism'.

_Tsumugi Ojou-sama!_

"Mugi-chan!"

You brought the chair back on its four feet as you look in the direction of the voice that called you. Before your mind can register anything, the door of your room swung open and your eyes were instantly blinded by chestnut-coloured hair. You swear your reflex to grab hold of the table was a right decision, or you would have toppled onto your side by the sheer force your friend grappled you. Despite your initial shock, the nuzzling of her cheek against yours instantly dissipated all forms of anger, if you had any to start with, as you found yourself enjoying this simple form of physical affection.

You thought how big of a budget is required to research the mysteries of Hirasawa Yui's bear hugs.

"Mugi-chan! I got a reply from Azu-nyan!"

The edges of your mouth instantly curved up into your characteristic smile, something that you often do while talking to your friend, even though sometimes it _just_ occurs with you having no idea the reason behind such a phenomenon.

"That's nice, Yui-chan. What did she say?"

The girl with two golden clips giggled. "Why don't you read it yourself?"

You waited for the brunette to pass her phone to you, but she just continued to smile without any indication of doing so. You raised one of your thick eyesbrows, which you preferred that people do not speak about, quizzically by such development. You were just about to ask her for it when your phone rang, playing the instrumental of the song the band made for their sole junior throughout the room. Seeing Yui's face beaming with such anticipation, you picked up the device from the table before the song reached to chorus and read the message-in-question. The smile on your face widened even further upon reading the simple line.

'I really love you all too.'

_I should tell Papa to give Saitou-san a raise._

* * *

><p><strong>Notes(2):<strong> I hope the story isn't too weird, since I am aware of my expression problems.

For those of you who don't know, Azusa's junior is Saitou Sumire, who happens to live in the Kotobuki household. So, no, she's NOT an OC.

I hope the characters aren't too OOC.

Please review when you can~


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